You can never change anyone by criticizing them no matter how ‘constructive’ your criticism is. You might have the best interest of the person at heart but if you are pointing faults no matter how genuine and right they might be, your feedback would only be received with resentment.
Can you see the
message behind the packaging? I guess most of us don’t!
So what do you do
when you want to help improve a loved one? First thing first- No one changes
anyone. People change themselves and that too only when they want to. Remember ‘God
helps those who help themselves’? Yes, now you get the drift!
Now, if you want a
loved one to change their eating habits because their lifestyle can land them
health problems, what do you intend to do?
Say ‘You are getting
fat, one day you’ll bloat like a balloon and fly off!’ ??
Or would you say ‘Your
shirt is not fitting you well, kids will call you an elephant.’
Either ways you
would get dirty looks from the angry or embarrassed loved one.
Trust me, your
feedback will get you haters; I have been at the receiving end of such feedback
and I wanted to murder or atleast slap the critic. :P
How wonderful it had
been if you could tell the person -‘ I just happen to see a stunning gown at
the mall this weekend and I think with a few pounds down, you will look like a
Diva in it. Also, I feel you will feel fitter and healthier and lighter.’
How do you think the
receiver of the feedback will feel?
Hopeful
Excited
Definitely motivated
And may be she
starts imagining herself as a Diva already!
So what changed?
Your packaging of the message did.
From making someone
feel bad about their weight to motivating them to lose weight has made all the
difference in someone’s self esteem.
And once the person
starts valuing your feedback, you will feel positive too!
So next time you
have an opinion to share or genuinely want to help someone, boost up his self
esteem and see the person creating wonders for themselves.
Love and Light!
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