A Compatible Choice

The world is full of endless possibilities and opportunities and subjects which subsequently stem from them. One can become an astrologer, astronomer, a physicist, a gardener, a painter and express oneself by endless means. If practicising something gives you pain and make you miserable, it clearly shows that the choice was in-congruent to who you are and what you want.

It is not only career choices but every choice we make. If you choose to become a painter and years down the line feel that all the process of creative expression makes you miserable; no matter how much you love the output, eventually the entire effort would not make you as happy as your heart truly desires.

Credit: Brainy Quote

So what do we do now? First and foremost, remove the ‘should’ from the choice you made. ‘I loved painting once and I still do so I should be enjoying the process too’. Says who? Detach your ego from the process!

Not being able to do something isn’t about being inadequate; it is about incompatibility!

The Divine wanted all of us to be winners. He gave us free will to choose whatever we want to but what is the point of choosing to become and do things which are incompatible with our truest desires? If you choose something which makes you come alive, that IS the most compatible choice. It has got nothing to do with personal adequacy or the lack of it.

You might have loved something once but when you realize it does more harm than good to you, it is time to let it go. 

The subject of your love might not be bad in general; it just is incompatible to you. Let it go and make a choice that truly expresses your energy.

Love and Light!

It has ALWAYS been YOU!

"We are the people we are waiting for. We must step up and take the reins. There is no one else. Just us."

Beautiful lines- aren’t they? Life is all about relationships. We have a relationship with everyone and everything that affects us in our lives. Though we tend to forget and neglect the most important and our first relationship- with ourselves.

Look into the mirror and what looks back at you sometimes feels like a stranger. ‘This is not me’- you say and yet a part of you knows that it is you- the unfamiliar, the unexplored facet of you. The unfamiliar has rushed in to let you know what you forgot amidst all your other relationships. It has come to your aid to lift up the illusion that you are alone and bored.

The unfamiliar though sometimes scary also builds up the excitement of the possibility of exploring a new part of you. You are at ground zero- you’ve lost everything around and within you that was once familiar. Would it all come back or is it gone forever? This ground gives you a clean slate; to forge your first ever relationship- with you; A relationship of unconditional love, respect and acceptance.

‘Would I be full of myself, oblivious of the world around me?’ she asked.

‘Tell me what you truly feel?’ the unfamiliar questioned back.

‘I know I have been running around trying to find myself. I don’t know you and yet I feel drawn to the promise of a beautiful future with you. I hold a void within me which I know can never be filled by the world. There is no salvation but Now. There is no love but Me. Is there not?’

The unfamiliar gave a gleeful chuckle and encouraged her to go on.

‘I have been swayed by losses and gains of material and emotional nature. What if I lose this? What if I lose them? I did lose them! I am all alone! Is there meaning to life? Does God exist? If He does, does He care?’ she said with a distant look, tracing back the ordeal she has lived through.

‘You have been SO brave.  Now tell me- does all of the above matter?’ the unfamiliar asked with a tender and loving concern.

She smiled for the first time and responded- ‘Now it doesn’t. I know I have Me, my biggest love. I am not a piece of paper drifting through the wind without an anchor. Is there meaning to life? Honestly, I don’t know and I don’t care.’

‘All I know is that this existence is about relationships. The first and the last being with Me. In between, I’ll enjoy the ride with my fellow travelers and have some fun! I am the one for myself…it has always been Me.’

The unfamiliar felt a deep sense of joy hearing her say this.

And since then every time she looked into the mirror, the unfamiliar ceased feeling so unfamiliar to her.

The Changing Hues of the Sea.

How Nature changes it's hues and colors! The sea was dark blue with ripples galore when the ship was away from the mass of land. The nearer the ship came to the port ( Penang), the waters became lighter, greener, calmer. The sea knows that the ship is nearing her comfort zone and there are hardly any perils for her destined by the sea waters and it responds by changing itself to a calmer, more soothing disposition.

 Are we all not the same way? Coming back to our comfort zone after having battled challenges of the far away unknown, the most welcome of experiences? Lately, my comfort zone became the bane of my existence because I chose to remain stuck in it's comforting space.  There is no machoism in battling challenges after challenges and there is nothing wrong in resting in your comfort zone for a while. It is only when you remain there for too long is when you feel stuck.

Pushing yourself towards the unknown can be draining on the energies, it is ok to rest for a while. It is ok to seek the solace in times of great challenges. And once you have given it your all, you would realize that the erstwhile challenge has now become the new comfort zone. You conquered the perils and no matter whether the waters are bluer or greener, your ship is going to sail away like the majestic lord of the sea leaving behind the legacy of beauty in its pristine wake.

Love and Light!

A Life without Labels and the innumerable Shoulds

Unlearning is very painful especially when you are unlearning concepts about Life and Yourself. I have usually prided myself for being different than the average person and truly believed in the concept of uniqueness and our divine connection to a Higher Power. I still do but there has been a paradigm shift taking place which is making me question the very concept of uniqueness.

Over the many years of our existence, a lot of labels get attached to us. Some are given to us by society and some we assume for ourselves depending on our perceptions about ourselves. Those labels form a major part of who we think we are, our self esteem and determines our relationship with the world- inner and outer

Labeled? Terms and Conditions always apply!

I became aware of my first label at age 4 when my dad’s friend lovingly called me ‘Daroga ji’ which is a hindi word for a police inspector. I was outspoken, unfazed, super confident, charming and had an air of self assurance and authority which was unusual for a girl and that too for my family and that too for a 4 year old! I was different from my family. I read that as special.

My birth chart and my personality traits reminded my grand mom of a special divine providence. I may have been different. I read that as special.

I was the only girl who could compete with boys at school sports and who also pulled off decent grades. I was different than most girls. I read that as special.

My family is a conformist. I am not. I am different. I read that as special.

My family only has science graduates. I graduated in Commerce. I am different. I read that as special.

My elders have been authority figures for many formidable family and individual decisions. They didn’t have any authority over me. I was different. I read that as special.

In a family of businessmen and service professionals, I wanted to be a social worker and adopt monkhood. I was different. I read that as special.

In an environment where people had regular ambitions of family, work, kids and retirement, I was contemplating the meaning of life. I was different. I read that as special.

A career test revealed I am a living dichotomy. I was different. I read that as special.

I have a personality type which is the rarest of all types. I was different. I read that as special.

How many times do we read being different as special and may be even superior? I became a ready recipe for exploitation by my own mind and other different people who openly claimed to be special. Their ideas fanned mine and perpetuated this false notion. Who wants to be ordinary when you have all the while been extraordinary?!

There is beauty in being simple.

For the longest time in my life, I have felt disconnected from my fellow beings for being different (read special!) and suffered volatile rise and steep falls in my self esteem. I have been termed complex, difficult and sometimes even eccentric. All these labels created a false sense of self and made me believe the illusion that I created and which the world fed. To think of oneself as special takes away the connection with the world we live in. The notion feeds the ego- a false sense of self.

When Life is making me strip off ALL these labels and see myself as ME, it is surely painful but a wonderful blessing as well. It is difficult to accept that ordinary is good. The world over exaggerates the worth of complexities. To be able to grasp and solve them gives us an intellectual and psychological high which sometimes makes us overlook simple things and treat them as unimportant. Simple is powerful.

Being different is being unique…just like everyone else is. I am Me. There are no rules to live by- only the ones I make for myself because I know they work for me. Am I dumb? No. Am I a better person than you? Definitely not! I have begun to hang up my judgmental boots and the weighing scale for I now understand that there is no wisdom in figuring out life than it is in living it. (Honestly, I have started to hate the word wisdom now! Are there halos?? :P)

Is it easy? Trust me, it isn’t but who said Life would be easy? They just said it will be worth it!

Love and Light!

Let go of the past and the past will let go of you.

Letting go of the past, cutting cords from it and moving on is NOT abandoning a part of you. Letting go doesn’t mean that you ruthlessly cut off ties with your past and bury it under the carpet. There is no intelligence in remaining stuck in the past and giving it your lifelong allegiance under a misguided notion of support and love. To forsake your present and your future for the past; is it an intelligent choice? To dishonor the present in order to validate the past is foolish. And are you empowering your past personality by remaining with it or just feeding the pain and hurt and remaining in a vicious cycle which goes nowhere?

The past remains there and must remain there. There is no point in carrying the burden wherever you go just to feed a false notion of love and support. It is not always necessary to understand the past. The key lies in healing, forgiveness and assimilating the wisdom it brings but it doesn’t make sense to live the trauma again and again. Allow it to rest in peace; to set it free from your expectations of what it could be; to free yourself from guilt and regret. That part of you remains in the continuum of time and space but it doesn’t have to dominate your present. Bring the present to light, validate its existence.

Evolution is forward. No phase is better than the other. The past served its purpose but now it must be let gone to honour the present. It is time to move to a new pasture and sow seeds for a new garden. The same patch of land no longer serves you and it is ok to leave it there. There is infinite space to grow. A canvas can only be painted once. Painting the same canvas again and again doesn’t create a new picture; it just spoils the original and makes it look ugly. Don’t try to rewrite the past; get a new canvas and paint a new picture- a picture which reflects better choices and expresses who you are more beautifully than you did in the past. You have the colours; use them well.

Love and Light!